


Teen Time with Uncle Tony

by TonyStarkissist



Series: The Adventures of Uncle Tony and his gaggle of li'l Chil'ren [7]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Day At The Beach, Disney World, Family Bonding, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Iron Dad, Lego Land, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony takes his kiddos on vacation, Uncle Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-02-09 13:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18638737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonyStarkissist/pseuds/TonyStarkissist
Summary: Tony just wants to take the kids out for two weeks of some well deserved fun.Or: They all go to Orlando and ride every single roller coaster at every single park until Tony's inevitably had enough.





	1. Chapter 1

“Unc’e Tony! No, p'ease take me with you!” Nate screeched in his ear, clinging to his neck desperately. It was heartbreaking, really. 

His hope was to pick up Cooper from the Barton farm as discreetly as possible, around the predetermined time that Laura was supposed to put Nate down for a nap, because they all knew what would go down if the boy was awake upon his arrival. Laura had even promised to try and keep his appearance on the down low. But, lo and behold, Lila had to open her mouth, screeching at the top of her lungs when she saw him step out of the Quinjet, which in turn woke up Nate, sending him into a complete conniption fit when he found out he was taking Cooper and not him. 

“‘s no’ fair!” He wailed, keeping his hold tight around his uncle's neck as his mother tried to gently coax him to let go. 

“I know buddy, I know,” Tony soothed, wrapping his hands around the little boys arms to try and detach him so he could get on his way. “I'll bring you next time.”

“No!” He cried desperately, squeezing his eyes shut and scrunching his face up into a miserably heart wrenching expression. 

Tony didn't know how much longer he could refrain from giving in. Maybe the kids wouldn't mind little Nate tagging along for the ride.

Cooper seemed to read his mind and he dropped his packed duffle bag right on the grass and surged forward to wrap his hand around Tony’ arm, shooting him a pleading look. Tony glanced down at him while he reluctantly tried to assist Laura in peeling the screaming child from around his neck. 

“Please, Uncle Tony. You promised me it would just be us. Not Nate.” 

Of course the little bastard had to go and pull the ‘uncle’ card. He never called him ‘Uncle Tony’ to his face, because, according to Peter, he was just salty like that. 

Boy, what a pickle he seemed to be in. Why’d he have to go and turn soft for these Baron brats?

“C'mon Coop. Would it really be that bad?” Tony tried, glancing down at the hovering boy next to him. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, “you promised me and Peter ‘Teen time’ remember! You promised!”

“I did, didn't I?” Tony sighed, turning back to settle his sorrowful gaze on the toddler sniffling pitifully in his arms. 

“Nate, squirt, you gotta let go. I promise I'll take you to do something fun after we get back. Just me and you. How does that sound?”

Nate pouted, but his sobbing stopped and he reached his little hand up to wipe at his eyes. 

“What'a bout me?” Lila questioned, looking up at him with her wide doe-eyes.

Tony didn't know why he didn't just have Barton go pick the teen menace up. He should have known he'd be ambushed at the farm… but he promised Cooper. 

“I'll take you and Cassie to that new Lion King movie. The red carpet showing. How's that sound?”

Lila grinned at him and hugged his waist tightly. “Can Petey come too?”

“If he wants to?”

“Yay!” Lila squeaks, seemingly satisfied. 

So, Tony turns his attention back to Nate, who was slowly, albeit reluctantly, relinquishing his ironclad hold around his uncle's neck.

“Do we have a deal Nate?” Tony questions earnestly. “You, me, and whatever you want?”

Nate stops to ponder it with furrowed brows. “Can I spend the night with you after?”

Tony shrugs indifferently, sparing a glance at Laura for her permission. She gives it with a soft smile and nod of her head. “Of course, bud.”

“Will you sing me to s’eep?” 

Tony has to pause at that one. He really, really didn't want to. And he really, really didn't want to set a precedence for future visits, but he supposed he had already done that the first time he sung the toddler a song all those months ago. The last thing he needed was the whole team finding out he sang soft rock lullabies to his toddler nephew to make him sleep, but he always had a hard time saying no to that face.

“Sure. We'll make it a big boys sleepover. How's that sound?”

Nate grinned widely, showing off his little-boy teeth. Then, he quickly pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek as a farewell, and Tony returned the favor with a kiss to the forehead before easily handing the boy off to his mother. Then, Lila was jumping at him, hands in the air, insisting to be lifted up into a hug, and Tony relented. 

He growls playfully into her ear as he hugs her tight. He presses two quick kisses into her hair before setting her back down on her feet.

“I'll see you guys later,” he smiles, waving goodbye. Then he turns to look at Cooper. “You got all your stuff kiddo?”

Cooper picked up his duffel bag from where he'd dropped it in the grass and held it up for Tony to see. The man simply raised a brow in response.

“We're gonna be gone for two weeks. Are you sure that's enough?”

“I got more clothes at the Compound. I'm gonna finish packing there.” Cooper answered easily, getting the bag over his shoulder and spinning on his heels to march towards the Quinjet. All while trying desperately not to look too excited.

Tony smiled knowingly as he took a couple seconds to watch the kid. Then, he turned back to the little family and he leaned forward to give Laura a quick hug. “I'll get him back to you in no time. You didn't tell him where we're going, right?”

“Of course not. You wanted to keep it a surprise.” Laura answered sweetly, squeezing his shoulder with her free hand.

Tony grinned at her with a mock salute and quick thank you before spinning on his own heels, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and following after his nephew.

***

“Will you _please_ just tell me where we're going! I promise I won't tell Peter!” Cooper begged, leaning heavily against the pilot seat Tony was sitting in. He'd been desperately trying to squeeze out any drip of information about their ‘Teen Time’ trip.

Tony finally had enough and sighed frustratedly. He glanced discreetly at the radar and navigation before making a deal with the boy.

“If I let you fly, will you stop asking me?” 

Cooper’s mouth fell open and his face split into a wide grin, eagerly shaking the seat beneath his hands.

“Uh, _yeah!_ Dad never let's me pilot this thing. This is gonna be awesome!”

Tony smiles slyly to himself and reaches over quickly to switch FRIDAY’s autopilot on. 

“Alright, just don't go telling your Dad or anything. I don't want to get into any trouble.” Tony says, keeping a steady hand on the piloting equipment, just for show, as he stood from the seat and ushered Cooper to take his place. “Now keep it going straight. This thing is uber sensitive and if you start veering off somewhere it's gonna take much longer to get to New York. So watch this,” he taps onto he blinking navigation screen, “and keep us on course.”

Cooper nods eagerly, bouncing in his seat and keeping a steady hand on the throttle.

“Great, I'll have to take over when we get closer so I can land it. Just try not to kill us or anything.”

“Will do!” Cooper jokes, copying his mock salute from earlier in the morning and staring out through the windshield of the jet.

***

“Ned! MJ! Shuri's here! C'mon, you have to meet her!”

Peter waved his hand frantically, urging his friends to stand from the couch and follow him to greet the princess entering the large room.

“ _Princess_ Shuri? She's coming too?!” Ned squealed, eyes wide, and already scrambling off the couch to follow after his best friend. 

“Yeah! I thought I told you that! C’mon!” 

MJ and Ned followed after him, even despite MJ’s attempt at appearing indifferent to meeting the Princess of Wakanda. Everyone knew she was a sucker for smart, powerful women of all sorts. Heck, Peter had never seen MJ falter once in his life until he introduced her to Pepper Potts an hour ago. She stuttered; almost drooled actually! Pepper loved her immensely and didn't hesitate to accept the request for a quick interview. If he would be able to get away with it without losing a body part, Peter would have totally teased her about the total fangirl moment she had after spotting the red head entering the room while they were watching a movie on the Common Room TV. So, yeah, no matter what she did or say, Peter knew she was going to totally love Shuri.

The three teens greeted the newcomer rushing up to them just as excitedly and grinning just as wide before immediately throwing her arms around Peter in a tight hug.

“Shuri these are my friends,” Peter introduced when she let go of him, gesturing to his friends standing with him, “Ned and MJ. They’re coming with us for Teen Time.”

“Please stop calling it that,” MJ groaned irritatedly, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“That’s what Tony came up with though,” Ned argued insistently, immediately coming to his newly appointed Uncle’s aid.

Shuri turns to MJ with a knowing grin on her face. “You’ll get used to Uncle Tony’s eccentricity soon enough.” Then she turns to Peter, raising her eyebrows amusedly. “Will she be inducted into the family soon? I could use a female cousin above the age of 10.”

MJ reeled back at the insinuation and turned her accusing gaze onto a reddened Peter Parker. Neither noticed Shuri’s delighted smile as she looked past them.

“I-I don’t know,” he stammered nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “That wasn't really the plan, but you never know with Mr. Stark. He picks up kids like a-”

He yelps when someone flicks his ear. “I told you to stop calling me that,” Tony piped up from behind him.

Peter jumped back in surprise and collided right into the man. He knocked his head back and settled his mentor with an irritated glare.

“What am I supposed to call you then? You’ve completely vetoed ‘Mr. Stark’ and ‘Uncle Tony’.”

“Don’t even start with that,” Tony rolled his eyes as Cooper bounds up beside them with his bag thrown over his shoulder and looking beyond excited. “You’re my kid, not my nephew. So it’s either ‘Tony’ or ‘Dad’ to you Mister.”

Shuri cackled happily as Peter’s face burned a deep crimson while Tony retreated, chuckling mischievously.

“Da-! Tony! That was- It isn’t even! Oh my God!” He groaned, cradling his head in his hands in embarrassment. “Just let it go!”

“Nope!” The man grinned, looking downright giddy when he turned around to wink at him. Peter glared and muttered under his breath before turning back to his friends.

“Oh my goodness I _so_ needed that,” Shuri laughs, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye. “THANKS UNCLE TONY!”

Tony simply responds with a thumb in the air while he disappears around the corner into another room, leaving the five teens to talk amongst themselves.

“I can’t believe you call him ‘Dad’,” Ned grins breathlessly. Peter just glares at him.

“You’re one to talk. You’ve called him ‘Uncle Tony’ like five times in the past week.” Ned grins unabashedly, looking downright proud.

“Dorks,” MJ muttered under her breath, trying to suppress a smile of her own.

“Guys, guys, guys,” Cooper piped up excitedly, standing at least half a foot shorter than all of them, “has Uncle Tony told you where he’s taking us yet? Wait… who are you?” He questioned briefly, looking over at MJ as if noticing her for the first time through his delirious excitement.

“That’s our new cousin MJ,” Shuri answers easily.

“No I’m not-”

“Yeah, she is,” Ned grins, earning himself an elbow to the ribs when he tried throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“But, seriously,” Cooper turned back to the other familiar faces, “does _anyone_ know where we’re going?”

The lot of teens shrug helplessly, looking between each other for the answer. 

“ALBERT?” Peter eventually questions curiously.

“ALBERT has been muted until you all leave. Mr. Stark didn’t trust him not to ‘run his artificial mouth and ruin the surprise because he has no respect for those in authority.’” FRIDAY answered instead, making both Cooper and Ned laugh outright.

He guessed they’d all have to wait then.

***

“Everyone has everything?” Tony questioned with a questioning brow as they all pile their bags by the front door. Soon a large mound of suitcases and travel accessories were stacked messily in front of him as he mentally read off the checklist he found on the internet. “Toothbrush? Pajamas? Swimsuit? Deodorant?”

“Yes!” Cooper replied vehemently with an exasperated role of his eyes.

“Don’t sass me boy. You’re father’s around here somewhere. I’m sure he’d be a good babysitter for your new phone.” Cooper’s mouth snapped shut at that, and Peter’s new girlfriend was the only one not laughing. He had a vague memory of who she might be based off Peter’s ramblings, but he really wasn’t all too sure. He didn’t have time for questions though, because they only had a few minutes before they had to leave, and goodness knows he has to stick to a strict schedule if he wants to get everything done.

“Alright,” Tony replies with a sigh, “go pack your stuff into the back of the van then.”

_He still couldn't believe he had a van! God, the things he did for these kids._

All the boys scamper outside to pack the trunk, but Shuri and the new ‘niece-in-the-making’ take their time in dragging their luggage out to the fancy van waiting in the driveway.

“Hey, Tony,” Pepper calls out to him while he was watching the kids were struggle to pack all their stuff. 

“Yes, love?” Tony responds sweetly, turning to face her.

She rolls her eyes at him and presses a stack of cards into his hands. “These are everyone’s passes. Don’t lose them, please.”

“You got the fast passes right? I don’t want to be sweating in some two hour line just to ride-”

“Yes, Tony, they’re the fast passes.” Pepper chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Great. I knew I loved you for a reason.” He quickly pocketed the thick stack of cards and grinned. “Pete’s gonna flip when he figures it out.”

“I know,” Pepper laughed. “I wish I could come with you, but they were pretty adamant on the whole ‘Uncle Tony’ only thing weren’t they?”

“Aww, c’mon Pep,” Tony laughed, reaching out to wrap his arms around her waist. “They love you… I’m just more fun.”

Pepper smacks his arm playfully and pushes him away. “Whatever. You go have fun with your little gaggle of children. And please bring them all back in one piece. And don’t spoil them too much, we don’t need Clint or the others getting jealous.”

“Now, you know I can’t promise _that_ , Pep.”

***

“C’mon Tony,” Peter whined from the passenger seat, “please just tell us where we’re going.”

They didn’t even make it 10 minutes into the ride before the interrogations began.

“Now why would I spoil the surprise now when I’ve been working so hard to keep it a secret all these weeks?” Tony questioned, shooting him a quick side-eye as he pulled down an empty road. Shuri was quick to lean forward over the center console, because she _knew_ it annoyed him and she just liked being obnoxious.

“C’mon Uncle Tony. We’ve all been waiting for weeks. Just tell us where we’re going and we’ll quit bugging you.”

“Oh look,” Tony responded innocently as he took a sharp turn onto a long track, effectively throwing Shuri back into her seat, “we’re here.”

“We’re riding in your private jet?!” Ned shouted from the very back, staring at the large aircraft at the end of the strip with the SI logo emblazoned on the side.

“Well, I sure as heck wasn’t about to take a 3 day road trip with you brats. Goodness, I’d go insane after the first hour.”

After that, the five teens piled out of the car as employees swarmed around the trunk to load up their belongings. Tony was ushering the squad up the stairs leading to the door of the jet, giving Ned that extra push he needed to stop staring at the plane with starry-eyes. The poor kid wasn’t used to the glamorous lifestyle of having a billionaire Uncle yet. 

Shuri wasn’t very impressed with the plane, but when was she ever impressed with anything of his? But the rest of them were excited enough to ride in the luxury vehicle, quickly scampering around to find their seats… all except one.

“So, Pete,” Tony addressed, casting the boy a look, “are you gonna introduce me to our new hitchhiker, or what?” He stared pointedly at the indifferent girl examining the interior of the plane with a scrutinizing gaze. 

Peter rushed over in a flurry of limbs and stuttering words, drawing the attention of the curly-headed girl.

“Oh, yeah, um… this is Michelle-”

“MJ.” She answered with finality, fixing both him and Pete with a smug smile.

“Okay, MJ,” Peter nodded, correcting himself, “and you said I can bring a couple friends.”

“I know what I said kiddo, but I like to know the names of the children I take on vacation with me so I can yell their name when I inevitably lose them.” Then, with that, he waves them off, leaving the teens to their own devices while he goes to speak with the pilots.

***

“ORLANDO??!” Peter screeched, staring up at the big letters spelled out on the sign in front of the airport while they drive past. “Please tell me we’re going to Disney… or LegoLand. Busch Gardens maybe? Sea World?!”

“Would you really be that disappointed if we didn’t go see Shamu,” Tony deadpanned, leaning forward to check both ways at the oncoming traffic. Goodness, Orlando was crazy, and he wasn’t used to driving an old granny minivan.

“Deeply.”

Tony grinned to himself and dug into his pocket while he was waiting. He pulled out the stack of plastic cards and tossed them to Peter, sitting beside him. The boy fumbled to catch all of them, and when they’re settled, he stared down at the assortment with wide eyes.

“A-all-all of them?”

“What?” Tony scoffed, “You thought I was going to take you to Florida and not make the most of it? Please.”

At that, loud shouts of celebration erupted within the van when Peter held up the assortment of passes Tony had bought for them weeks prior. He grinned when he glanced in the rearview mirror to see the wild jumping and hoots of excitement, and a proud smirk creeped up as well when he makes out a large ear-splitting grin on Peter’s face out of the corner of his eye.

Yeah, it was going to be a ton of fun… at least for them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small road trip to the beach and lots of shenanigans...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Tony is back!!! Sorry for the long wait guys. So sorry, I hope it was worth the wait.

Their first stop is a rest stop. Nothing too exciting…

"Alright, listen up brats," Tony speaks up as he kicks open the driver's door of his luxury rented minivan. The other children follow suite, piling out of the car one by one and congregating in a small circle around the man. "Divide and conquer. That's what we're gonna do. First things first, Pepper’s only rule was no phones, so hand 'em over." 

He whips out a cheap Ziploc bag from practically out of nowhere, snaps it open and shakes it insistently to the disgruntled group of teenagers standing in the middle of the parking lot. "Cmon, got things to do, places to see. We don't have all day." He shakes the bag once more and Peter was the first one to step forward like the good kid he was, but not without that obnoxious teenage eye roll. 

One by one, phones drop into the bag and Tony smiles triumphantly and goes to zip it up… but MJ stops him with a raise of her brow and a pointer finger held up. "I believe this whole no phone thing should apply to you too. It’s only fair."

A chorus of 'yeah's follow and Tony glares at her. "Fair enough." He digs around in his pocket and deposits the expensive Stark prototype into the bag. "Everyone will get them back this evening when we’re settled into the hotel. FRIDAY will inform me of any emergency phone calls from your parents..."

He tosses the bag into the minivan, slams the door, locks it and immediately begins marching towards the small rec building smack dab in the middle of a poorly cut lawn littered with trees and moss. "We're gonna need snacks and drinks. Guys to the bathroom, girls get the drinks. Then girls to the bathroom and the guys'll get the food. No bathroom breaks once we're on the road Go go go! Let's go!"

They scatter. The three boys follow Tony towards the sketchy looking men’s room, picking up their pace to a slow jog to catch up with him. He was really in a hurry. Peter was the first to ask the question on everyone's mind. 

"So, where are we supposed to be headed Tony? We’re already in Orlando… isnt everything here?"

"Not quite," Tony answered, turning to shoulder the bathroom door open so he wouldn't have to touch the disgusting thing. "We're headed right down to Clearwater for a few beach days. Can’t go to Florida without going to the beach."

"The beach?!" Ned squealed in excitement, shimmying into the bathroom after them with a wide grin on his face. 

"Yep," Tony smiled. "The airport wouldn't let me land my jet over at the Clearwater airport… not that I'd want to, that place is smaller than my summer mansion. Were gonna stay a couple nights, gotta pick up an extra tag along tomorrow at the airport then we're gonna dive right into the horrendous theme park adventures.”

“An extra tagalong?” Peter questioned with a raise of his brows. He didn’t know who else could possibly qualify for their Teen Time trip. 

Tony grimaced slightly. “Harley’s comin’. He had to finish up the college semester before he could join us. Mom’s orders.” He left it that, elbowed a stall open, took one look, grimaced and walked right back out. "I'll hold it."

***

They were back on the road, munching on snacks, sipping on drinks, and chatting away as Tony drove down the busy interstate highway headed towards the Gulf. 

"Ooh! Ooh! I found Kentucky!!" Ned shouted triumphantly, jabbing his finger into the window to point animatedly at a scruffy red Camry zooming down the highway next to them. 

"Yesss!" Cooper hissed excitedly, hunched over a notepad they had bought back at the rest stop as he checked Kentucky off their long list of states. 

They had been playing the license plate game for the better part of an hour, and Tony was proud to admit that it wasn't quite as annoying as he would have found it years ago. He was just happy that all the kids were relatively entertained and excited (and at least MJ was smiling). Of course, he would have expected them to find more fascination in the palm trees, acres upon acres of cows, and the water, but he supposed rusty license plates worked just as well.

"Oh," Tony grinned as he came up on speeding past a little black Volkswagen puttering along in the fast lane. "Is that a little old lady from Connecticut?" 

He felt nearly the weight of the entire car shift to the left as every body practically threw themselves towards the leftmost window to get a look… sure enough it was Connecticut!

"Wooooh!" Shuri shouted in triumph. "We are almost halfway done!"

Tony shared a short look with MJ in the rearview mirror and they both smiled and rolled his eyes and he kept on driving. 

***

"Alright, who wants Starbucks?" Tony announced in a sing-songy voice. He was immediately met with an excited chorus of 'mes' and he hid his smirk. 

Two more minutes of suffering through 'the song that never ends' and he veered off the back roads he’d been weaving through at FRIDAY’s GPS instructions to cruise into a Target parking lot. The singing muted almost instantly as they stared out at the big red sign and the huge crowd of cars lined outside the store. 

"This isn't Starbucks," Peter mused sagely as Tony pulled into an empty parking space. 

"Good observation young Padawan. Starbucks is on the _inside_." 

He was met with a baffled silence. 

"But-but there's literally a Starbucks right across the street." Peter pointed off into the distance and sure enough there was a Starbucks. “And since when does Tony Stark go to Target?”

But it was too late. Tony didn’t respond because he was already getting out of the car. He hissed when he felt the sweltering sun stab him in the back… he really shouldn't have worn a black T-shirt to Florida in the middle of summer.

"We need beach toys Pete. We can't go to the beach and not have beach toys." Then he was manually sliding open the side door, because the kid’s weren’t getting out yet like they were supposed to be doing. He was met with more silence and more confusion. Peter turned around in his seat to shoot him an offended look. 

"Were sixteen, not five. We don't need beach toys." 

Tony frowned. He settled his hands on his hips defiantly and stared down each of the five teens. "Out. Come on," he ordered with a clap of his hands, "out out out!" He ignored their huffs of annoyance, because he knew they’d regret not getting beach toys later… there wasn’t much to do at the beach other than swim and sit in the sand, and it was easy to get bored of both of those things no matter how old you were. “Let’s get on with this before the paparazzi find us and interrupt our Teen Time.”

There were a few shared groans of annoyance, but soon they were all out of the van and marching their way across the parking lot. Nobody seemed to recognize Tony with his hat and sunglasses thank goodness, but they did get a few weird looks when they spotted 5 teenage children trailing after a ‘short white man’ - as Shuri called him - in jeans and sneakers in the middle of summer.

"Uncle Tony, we really don't need beach toys." Cooper sighed as he watched his uncle swipe a few hand wipes from the stand so he could disinsinfect the handle of the bright red shopping cart.

"You underestimate the power of beach toys Kiddo. You can't go to the beach and not build a sandcastle. I'm sorry, but that's just illegal." He grins slyly to himself, "now come along child slaves. We have some shopping to do."

They fill up the cart fairly quickly. Two packs of Gatorade, lots of pringles, even more Oreos, and some grapes because _"Pepper would kill me if all I fed you was junk food"_. Then there were the abundance of beach accessories that had been tossed into the cart without a second glance. Blow up beach balls, frisbees, floatees, lounge chairs, noodles, boogie boards, shovels, buckets, a waterproof football… it was a lot. They had a fairly full car by the time they made it up to the cash register, and Peter was positive that they wouldn’t use half the stuff Tony was buying them.

"How are you planning to fit this all into the van, Uncle Tony?" Shuri quizzed as she watched the man busy himself with piling his loot onto the conveyor belt. He looks up for a moment and seems to do a head count under his breath, mouthing off the numbers quite obviously. 

"We've got like 4 and a half geniuses here. I think we got it."

He left it at that and tossed the three bottles of sunscreen to join the rest and sighed in satisfaction as he gazed fondly over the pile, as if he had accomplished the greatest task known to man.

Then it was there turn and the cashier turned to look at them with a forced smile. It only took about two seconds for her it to register in her brain that, yes, Tony Stark was standing right in front of her. To say the young cash register girl was surprised at the sight of the famous genius billionare purchasing a wide variety of beach toys and gatorade accompanied by five children was the understatement of the century. Thank goodness she was the first to recognize them during their busy shopping spree. 

She slowly rang up the first few cans of pringles, fighting to look away from the man and Tony for some reason found it abnormally amusing even though he was faced with it nearly every day… but then a bar of candy was being waved a bit too close his face. 

"Hey, Uncle Tony can I get this?" Cooper questioned, showing off the King Sized KitKat bar to his uncle. Tony pushed his arm away from his face. 

"No. You've had enough sugar today. Look at you, you’re already hyper and you’re about to get coffee."

"Aww, c'mon." Cooper whined. Tony smiled apologetically at the cashier and nudged the teen away with his forearm, nodding sternly for him to put the candy bar back where he found it on the display. 

He heard the distinct sound of a camera shuttering in the background but he ignored it. It wouldn't be long until this place was flooded with paparazzi. He was just happy it was happening now instead of earlier. Goodness knows the commotion that would be created if the paparazzi came barreling into town just in time to see him toting target grocery bags towards a rented minivan.

The lady was still ringing up their things, so he called Peter over from where he as browsing the movie rack with Ned and MJ. When he heard Tony call him, his attention snapped towards him and he scampered over with a wide grin.

"What's up?"

Tony slapped a 100 dollar bill into his palm and nodded his head towards the little Starbucks cafe near the exit. 

"You guys go get your coffee while this stuff rings up. I want a Venti Starbucks Double Shot on Ice, but easy on the cream. Got it?" 

"Yep," Peter nodded, waving the others over to follow him. 

"Go crazy kid," he smiled and patted him on the shoulder as they all shuffled past him to group around the counter at the cafe. 

...the cashier was still staring. 

Tony waved it off with a smug smile. "Ah, y'know. Kids."

She nodded mutely, only breaking eye contact for a moment when she nearly dropped the pack of beach buckets. She stared down at them questioningly, then at the rest of the pile before looking back up at Tony. She just couldn’t seem to process it properly. 

This time Tony smiles sheepishly with an innocent shrug. 

"Family Vacation."

***

"Aww, c’mon, just for a little bit," Cooper whined. "Didn't you see all those cameras? #UncleTony _has_ to be trending, and since I'm the one who made that hashtag famous I feel that I have a responsibility to check the feed and make sure everything is going smooth-" Tony interrupts with a glare.

“I believe that _I_ am the one that made that hashtag famous.”

Cooper rolls his eyes. “Oh please. Everyone knows I started the trend.”

"Hush up kid or you'll be the only one lacking a cellular device this evening." 

The kid pouts and shuts his mouth. He rolls his shoulders to adjust his bag and grumbled under his breath as he took another loud slurp of his iced caramel macchiato… so much sugar. Tony grimaced at the idea of the kid getting any more hyper than he already was. Coffee was probably a bad idea.

Tony shuffled with his bags as he fished for his wallet. He was loaded down with several grocery bags and their travel cooler and he fumbled with the key card the guy at reception had given them. He had declined help from the bellboy downstairs, claiming they had enough hands to make the trip. Apparently he was wrong, because here he was, standing in front of their suite door while pringle cans and sunscreen bottles fell from the plastic bags hanging loosely from his shoulder. 

"I'll help," MJ steps in when she noticed he wasn't about to get anywhere anytime soon. She snatched the key card from his hand and gave it a swipe. Tony grinned in thanks, turned the handle and kicked open the door. 

He felt just a smidgen of pride when he heard the collective gasps behind him as the teens slowly trickled in. 

He didn’t give them much time to process. He dropped all the bags right in the middle of the floor and rolled his shoulders. “Alright. We have a little bit of time before it gets late. The beach is private, so there will only be a few people around. Sundown is at 8:31… really they got the best sunsets around here. Second to San Diego of course.” He mindlessly reaches into the bag and pops open the bottle of sunscreen before setting it over on the coffee table. “The pool is open till midnight. Any platters of food or beverages they offer you, you are willing to take. We have to be up and ready by 10:00 tomorrow so we can go and pick up Harley from the airport at 11:30. So, plan your sleep schedules wisely. Are there any questions?” He finally turns to look at the group. All but Shuri are still baffled by the luxury room; even MJ’s mouth his hanging slightly ajar.

“How did we land an Uncle so awesome?” Ned breathed, staring past him, towards the view from the balcony. Tony smiled and next thing he knew the kid had wrapped himself around his waist in a big hug, cheek pressed firmly into his chest.

“This is… wow,” Peter said with a breathless smile as he turned his attention back on Tony, ignoring his best friend… Ned still hadn’t let go of him.

“You’re so cool,” he heard the kid breathe against his shirt… He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do. Was this a ‘hug back’ situation, or an ‘awkward pat on the back because this is most definitely kinda weird’ situation.

“C’mon dork. Stop being creepy.” MJ scolded, grabbing Ned’s wrist to pull him away from a frazzled-looking Tony… he and Ned just weren’t _that_ close yet. Heck, it took nearly a whole year to hug Peter, and that was his kid!

Ned looked absolutely horrified and his wide eyed gaze snapped between MJ, Peter, and Tony when he realized what he had done. “I am so, so sorry Mr. Stark-”

“Uh-uh, none of that,” Tony scolded sternly, snapping himself out of his stupor… the kid was touchy and affectionate like Peter, _so what_. “We aren’t gonna start this ‘Mr. Stark’ crap here. Don’t encourage him.” With his last point, his finger landed on Peter. 

“And it’s fine, kid. I’m an Uncle to god knows how many children now, I’m used to it.”

He clapped his hands together before the silence in the room could get any more tense. “So… who wants to go swimming?"

That took care of that. The silence ended, excited chatter ensued and everyone ran off with their bags to sniff out their rooms and get dressed to go down to the beach. Tony dug around in the pile of discarded items he had dropped on the floor to find his own duffel bag and he smiled to himself as he tossed it over his shoulder and crossed the room towards the master bedroom. 

Ten minutes later and everyone was gathered back in the living room. Tony reaches for the sunscreen bottle he had placed at the ready on the coffee table. 

"Sunscreen," he declared. "Nobody needs to be getting skin cancer. This Florida sun will make you shrivel up like a raisin… trust me, I know."

"If anyone's gonna get burnt to a crisp it's gonna be Peter. He needs to be lathered before he steps foot outside again," Shuri announced with a proud smirk and her arms crossed over his chest. Both she and MJ wore long shawl-like coverups, sandals, and fancy-looking sunglasses perched atop their heads. They were Florida beach ready, that was for sure and Peter felt so underdressed with his plain white T-shirt and shark emblazoned swim trunks.

Although, he doesn’t feel that bad when he sees Cooper and Ned. 

Then, Tony turned to him with a shrug of his shoulders and Peter rolled his eyes, holding out his hand for a small squirt of the sunscreen. Tony squeezes out a small dollop into the palm of his hand and he spreads it across his cheeks as Tony moves to offer the girls an extra bottle. 

Then he’s back.

"The sun’ll just burn you right through this thing." He doesn't even bother waiting for Peter’s response, he tugs at the hem of the ratty T-shirt. "Off with the shirt."

"Mr Stark!" Peter squeaks. His cheeks go bright red and Tony raises an eyebrow. He notices Peter's pointed gaze on MJ and he smirks knowingly. It was funny really. 

"Girls, do you mind turning around for a moment?" Shuri cackles and MJ rolls her eyes in amusement, but they both turn around as they pass the bottle of sunscreen back and forth.

Tony looks over at the other two standing around. "I've got two more bottles in the Target bag, get going. Don’t be stingy either. Last thing I need is to hear complaints of sunburn while we’re trudging through theme parks for the next couple weeks." He tugs at the shirt Peter is still wearing again, and Peter glares at him, tugging away from him like a disgruntled teenager, but he pulls his shirt over his head nonetheless. 

Tony squirts a generous heaping of sunscreen into the boys palm, then a line down each of his arms. "Rub that all in, I'll get your back." He notes Cooper and Ned lathering on their own sunscreen and frowns when he notices the white streaks lining Cooper’s face. Laura or Clint were obviously always around to help him, because he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. 

He finishes with Peter's back and calls out for Cooper. "Come here Coop. You're doing it all wrong." He grabs onto the kid’s face when he’s within reach, cupping his cheeks with both hands as he runs his thumbs over his cheekbones to rub in the whiteness. "You gotta rub it in better than that or it's all gonna come off as soon as you touch the water.” 

Cooper squirms against his hands, but Tony simply plops another dollop onto his nose and rubs it in over his freckled cheeks. “And you gotta get the ears too, Bud,” Tony sighs, craning the kid’s head to the side so he could smooth some cream over the arch of his ear. “See, all done. Easy.”

***

“Alright, beach time,” Tony grins, looking out at the clear ocean through his designer sunglasses. He had his lounge chair strapped to one shoulder, and their cooler to the other. The boys were lugging the boogie boards and buckets while the girls toted the bags of other beachy toys and their towels. 

It didn’t take long before the three boys were dropping their things in a large pile on the sand. They dashed towards the water with celebratory shouts as they crashed into the waves. Peter practically took a dive into the water, laughing maniacally when he came back up for a gulp of air. Ned splashed him and Cooper jumped onto his back, dragging him back into the water. 

Tony smiled to himself and sighed as he began setting up his little home base next to the pile the boy’s had created. He set out his lounge chair, then grabbed the towels and draped their discarded cover ups over his arm before the girls dashed into the water as well. He laid them out on the sand and rummaged through the mess of junk to find the boys’ discarded shirts and sandals to lay beside him. Then, he cranked up the built in umbrella sticking out of the sand, and down came a server with a nice looking Margarita on a tray… Perfect. He grinned, grabbed the drink with a quick thanks before he took a generous sip and collapsed onto his shaded chair. A perfect vacation. Pepper would have loved it.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter called from the water moments later, waving his hand wildly to get the man’s attention. Tony waved back with a smirk to tease him. Then, the kid was rushing out of the water, dodging Cooper’s attacks as he fought his way through the waves. He stumbled his way up the sand, towards a relaxing Tony Stark sipping idly on his Margarita. 

“What’s up Pete?” He questions innocently even though he knows _exactly_ what the kid was about to ask him.

“Are you gonna get in the water? It’s so nice!”

“Nah,” Tony answers with a relaxed sigh as he settles further into his chair. “I’m good with just watching you guys have some fun. Laying out on the sand is my favorite part of the beach.”

Peter frowns at him, grabbing for the towel in his lap so he could dry his face before the salt water dripped into his eyes. 

“C’mon Tony,” He whined.

Tony just took another sip of his drink and smiled.

“Please Dad?” Peter was pouting now, which was totally unfair.

Tony paused, and his eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses.

“Don’t think I’ll just do whatever you ask whenever you call me that,” he muttered… but he was already standing up.

“Yeah!” Peter shouted, jumping up to sprint back to the water. “He’s coming!”

Tony rolls his eyes. He peels off his T-shirt, but leaves on his sunglasses, because it was way too bright to even think about removing them. He grabs one of the uninflated floaties on his way, and he makes it to the water, taking extra care to make sure his face didn’t get excessively wet… it’d been a few years, but he still wasn’t all that comfortable with water being splashed unwillingly in his face.

So, “No splashing,” was his only firm instruction as he waded out to the group, but he had to admit… laughing with his gaggle of kids as they swam out into the deeper water, with Cooper piggybacking on his back because he was too short to touch the bottom, was pretty stinkin’ nice.

They swam in the water for a while. Tony got sick of swallowing mouthfuls of salt water over and over, and he nearly had five heart attacks - one for each child - after each teen took turns nearly drowning under a crashing wave. He announced that he was done and made his way back to his seat .By that time his Margarita was hot and disgusting after sitting out in the sun for nearly an hour. The kids followed him out of the water, grappling at the tiny cooler they had stuffed their gatorade and a handful of ice into. 

They chugged their drinks and lounged on their towels, and Tony nearly shouted ‘hallelujah’ when he saw the same young server rushing across the sand with another cold Margarita at the ready.

By 6:00 Peter wasn’t looking at him… they were playing with the beach toys - Making epic sand castles might he add - and Peter just knew that Tony would rub it in his face, because it wasn’t hard to tell that they were having fun… which meant he was right after all.

“Oh my gosh! We should do a competition like in Spongebob!” Ned suggested with a wide, ear splitting grin. 

“Yeah! Guys versus Girls!” Cooper chimed in.

“That’s not fair,” Shuri pointed out. “There are three of you and only two of us… we’d win of course, but still…”

“Three teams then,” Peter quickly suggested, risking a glance at Tony. “I call Tony with me!”

Let’s just say the sandcastles weren’t quite up to par like Spongebob’s… the girls also won, but nobody expected any different.

***

After sandcastles, Peter and Cooper attempted to play frisbee, but they sucked and quickly gave up after nearly losing the frisbee to the current at least three times. So, they all just lounged around as the sun slowly lowered in the sky and they watched the beautiful sunset. Peter swears up and down that it looked like the sun was melting into the ocean. 

By then, Tony was exhausted with a capital ‘E’, but the kids were still running… it was most definitely the coffee he had decided, because there was no other explanation for not being tired after the heck of a day they’d had so far. So, Tony napped in one of the uncomfortable pool chairs, or at least tried to, as the kid’s splashed around in the large pool with other wild kids and adults. They played marco polo for what seemed like forever, and Tony just wanted to shrivel up and die. He’s so glad he didn’t rent a hotel with a waterslide into the pool because he knows they wouldn’t have been leaving until the pool closed.

...Too bad the next hotel has that very thing. He can already foresee the long nights down at the pool after a full day of exhausting activity.

Only a few people recognized him, and there were only a few obvious flashes, but nobody approached him thank goodness. So, by 10, he’d grumpily called for the kids to get out… he was ready to shower, spread out and rest in his luxury king-sized bed, and he couldn’t do that peacefully knowing his kids were all out splashing in the pool with the potential to be swarmed by paprazzi, kidnapped, or drowned while he wasn’t there to chaperone.

They marched back to the room, and the excited chattering didn’t even pause once during their entire trek. Again… he wanted to die. He showered, and at least caught just a few moments to himself in his room while the rest of the residents were getting ready for bed, before his door was flying open. He should have expected as much.

“You’re trending!” Cooper sang out as he burst into his room. 

Tony sighed inwardly to himself and tried his best to focus on the most recent design for a clean-energy powered jet on his STARKpad as Cooper came and draped himself over his bed to shove his phone into his uncle’s face. He had learned Cooper’s ticks. If he just ignored him… he’d usually get the hint.

“I’m also working,” he responded, looking pointedly at him over his reading glasses before turning back to his screen.

Cooper took a quick glance at the specs and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Work’s boring. Look at this! We’re famous. _“#UncleTony is back at it again with his gaggle of children. Spotted in Target buying beach toys and Starbucks. Is this a new version of Tony Stark: Mr Family-man?”_ Ooh! I like this one! _“I just spotted #UncleTony down at the pool with his kiddos!”_ Ha! You look like a legit zombie! And you’ve got tons more Uncle requests too, people are going absolutely crazy.. #UncleTony is back in the top ten again… hey, I should totally be your main PR guy from now on. Auntie Pep is always hounding you about your Twitter and Instagram. I can post for your social media, I can totally-”

“Y’know,” Tony mused with a smirk, “I think I liked you better when you hated me.”

Cooper stuck out his tongue at him and went limp on the mattress beside him, his phone hovering above his face as he typed away. “You’re just jealous that I made you even more famous with a single post,” he snarked.

Tony barked out a laugh and turned to look down at the kid sprawled out beside him on the bed. He wasn’t very close of course, because it was still Cooper Barton, and he was still dead set on proving that he didn’t totally adore Tony Stark. So, Tony just reached out and shoved him over playfully. 

Then, he felt his weight dip and there was another child on his bed, right on his other side… and just like that he was trapped. 

“Hey Dad,” Peter greeted as he scooted closer to him, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, the complete opposite of Cooper’s unspoken ‘1 foot’ rule. 

“What’s up Kiddo?” Tony questioned, smiling to himself as he dragged his finger across the screen to resize the dimensions of the jet cockpit.

“Nothin’,” Peter sighed, cocking his head to the side to rest on his shoulder as he watched him work. “I just came to see what you’re working on...”

“Boring stuff,” Cooper huffed from across the bed without even looking away from his phone.

“Not quite,” Tony chided, kicking the back of the kid’s legs with his foot, “It’s a new clean Jet design. Just busy work.”

“Like I said,” Cooper snarked, “ _boring_.”

Peter laughed when Tony’s head snapped over to glare at the kid, and Cooper cackled. “That’s it,” he grunted, maneuvering enough to give him a perfect vantage point, “I’m kicking you off this bed.” And just like that, he did. Cooper fell to the floor with a surprised yelp and Peter laughed harder.

“Abuse!” Cooper shouted from the floor. “I’m telling my Dad!”

“Go ahead,” Tony replied.

… and then there were more. 

He swears they’re like flies.

First it was Shuri. She bounced her way into the room, landing on the bed to give it a good enough bounce to annoy him. She laughed, and Peter was leaning over him to talk animatedly with the princess. Then, Ned and MJ trickled in after, searching for where the rest of the party had escaped to.

“I come in here for a few minutes of peace and quiet, and you just follow me,” Tony mutters under his breath as he snaps his STARKpad shut and places it roughly on the nightstand beside his bed. He blames Cooper. “The nerve of some kids.”

“Whatever,” MJ chuckled with a tiny smile. Ned dragged Cooper off the ground, and then Tony had a bed full of teenagers; five of them to be exact… and boy was it the most crowded King sized Bed he’d ever been in. 

“Let’s watch a movie!” Peter suggested excitedly. 

“I second that!” Ned called out, raising his hand and propping himself up against the headboard. 

“There’s a TV out there,” Tony points towards the door, and sure enough, the huge 80 inch screen TV is visible through the doorway. Too bad the kids were too stubborn to get the hint.

“Yes, but it’s much more fun this way, Uncle Tony,” Shuri announces with her signature smirk.

“Crowded on a bed?”

“Yep,” Cooper called from the foot of the bed. His head was pillowed on Peter’s shins.

Tony relented. He supposed he could suffer through _one_ movie if it meant silence and an excuse to fall asleep without worrying about them.

“Alright, whatever. I’ll order us some popcorn… and someone grab some extra pillows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the lack of uncle tony. I've been wanting to get back into it but I've been so busy Ugh!!
> 
> I didn't really know how I had wanted this particular fic to go really... so I was stuck too... at least I had a little bit of an idea of what to do with this one. Sorry if I didn't get in all the interactions and tropes you would have wanted... we still have plenty of time for that because they haven't even gone to their first theme park yet! Yikes that is definitely going to be an adventure.
> 
> Anyways! Really if y'all have any good ideas and I mean _any_ please tell me. I literally based this whole chapter on the beach vacation me and my brothers just took with my dad, so other than this... yikes. If not, I'll probably think of something anyways. You guys did give me lots of good ideas last chapter when I reviewed them. We'll see tho. I really wanna see this one through to the end :)
> 
> Oh and also if there are any specific relationships you want me to expound upon let me know. I was kinda conscious of which relationships I was concentrating on this chapter, and I'm sorry if you felt the focus was too much on Cooper... I just have a bit of a soft spot for him right now since he's like thirteen I think... so the youngest of the group. But yeah, let me know. MJ and Uncle Tony? Ned and Uncle Tony? Should I have MJ or Ned end up calling Tony Uncle Tony on accident by the end? Give me something to work with guys.
> 
> And one more thing... I totally forgot to put Harley in here at the beginning. Whoops... he's a perfect candidate. So, he'll be here next chapter. Phew, I think that was all of it.
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading. I Love y'all so much! Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been playing with this idea for a while now... I don't really KNOW for sure how I want to continue it. I'm struggling with ideas but I just love the whole premise. So, I thought I'd just post the first chapter and get some input from you guys to try and spark up some inspiration! 
> 
> Let me know where they should visit first... I was thinking of throwing the beach in there too, but who knows?? 
> 
> And Maybe some bonding ideas between everyone idek. Just let me know guys. I really, really want some ideas for this.
> 
> Thx for reading!


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